🏔 WV35 Weekend Update: “We Left the Holler… It Got Weird”
It started with a bad idea.
Holler woke up, stretched, grabbed his coffee, and said the one thing nobody in the holler should ever say out loud:
“Let’s go to the city.”
Bandit Boone froze mid-sip.
Slowly turned his head.
“…You mean like… Charleston?”
Holler shook his head.
“Nah. Bigger.”
That’s when Bandit knew…this was about to go sideways.
🚗 Phase 1: The Drive
Now the drive started normal enough.
Mountains. Backroads. Gravel that sounds like it belongs under your tires.
Everything made sense.
Then… it didn’t.
Roads got wider. Traffic got thicker. People started using turn signals like suggestions instead of warnings.
Bandit was already uneasy.
Holler?
Still confident.
“How different can it be?”
🏙 Phase 2: Immediate Regret (DC Edition)
They hit Washington, D.C.…
…and it was chaos.
Cars everywhere. People everywhere. Nobody waving at each other.
Holler pulled up to a light and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
“Why’s nobody going?” he asked.
Bandit pointed.
“That ain’t a stop sign… that’s a camera.”
🧠 Phase 3: Culture Shock
Now here’s where things really fell apart.
Holler tried to:
Some guy asked:
“What can I get started for you?”
Holler said:
“Coffee.”
Guy said:
“What kind?”
Holler paused.
Looked at Bandit.
Looked back.
“…Regular?”
Bandit was already laughing.
🌳 Phase 4: Finding a Little WV
Eventually, they made their way over toward the National Mall.
Little more space. Little more breathing room.
Holler stood there for a minute, looking out across it all.
“Still ain’t the holler,” he said.
Bandit nodded.
“Not even close.”
🚙 Phase 5: The Return to Reality
Didn’t take long.
By late afternoon, they were already heading back.
Back where:
Roads make sense
People wave
Coffee doesn’t come with 14 questions
As soon as the mountains came back into view…
Holler leaned back.
Took a deep breath.
“There it is.”
Bandit smiled.
Didn’t say anything.
Didn’t need to.
🔥 Ending It Right
Back in the holler.
Fire going. Boots off. No traffic.
Just quiet.
Holler raised his mug.
“City’s fine… but it ain’t home.”
Bandit raised his too.
That part?
They both agreed on.
🪓 Holler Truth of the Week
You can leave the holler…
But it don’t leave you.
👕 What We Learned
This weekend proved:
You need gear that works:
In the mountains
On the road
And when you realize you made a mistake going somewhere else
😂 Weekend Highlights
Holler discovered parking isn’t free everywhere (still mad about it)
Bandit almost stole something (out of habit)
Coffee was “complicated” for no reason
Not one person waved back
And both agreed… once was enough
🤔 Be Honest
You ever leave WV and immediately think:
“Yeah… I’m good.”
🏔 See You Next Weekend
We might go somewhere again.
Probably not.
— WV35
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